One Heckuva Bruise
by Snow'sLuckyCat
Summary: Carson Beckett makes his mark on the Major! Snarkiness ensues! WARNING: Spoilers for a scene near the end of The Gift.


Title: One Helluva Bruise 

Author: Snow'sLuckyCat - So, what's it to ya?

Disclaimer: Yet AGAIN I say this: Me no own. You (TPTB) no sue. That basically goes for everyone ever involved in any process of making SGA a tv show: actors, directors, writers, et. al. You know who you are.

Category: Missing Scene. SHEP WHUMP ALERT. SHEP WHUMP ALERT. lol!

Characters Within: Only Shep and Carson in here folks, although Teyla makes an "unconscious appearance." Literally. lol.

Spoilers: Yep. pretty major ones for "The Gift." Sorta. lol.

My Inspiration: Shelly. She ROCKS my sox! She helped me get inspired to write the next cycle of fics you will see from me, of which this is the first. As for everyone else (all 5 of you...lol) who reviewed my first foray into the SGA fandom, you all rock too. :)

Summary: Did ANYONE really, truly think, for 1 second, that Shep was all right after that fight with Teyla! Didn't think so. lol.

Author's Notes 1: MandyK, if you're out there, you may have the chocolate Shepand Rodney clones, 'cuz I have loads more. :)

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: NONE of Beckett's speaking parts are typos. I chose to inflect a bit of Scottish brogue into his words , so, I tried to spell them phonetically where I could.

Soooooo...HERE WE GO!

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Major John Sheppard walked back down to the infirmary. He never thought he'd actually DO that of course. Because, lately, he'd been trying to stay AWAY from the infirmary, what with the good Dr. Carson Beckett now onto his infamous disappearing acts, which started after he got his first...GLANCING...shot from a Wraith stun rifle. Then, of course, there were the times he skipped out on all those damned post-mission check-ups. Oh well. Carson got livid; John got - told, to say the least.

Now, after Bates's well-timed, albeit vindictive, twin stun blasts, Wraith!Teyla was pretty much gone, although Teyla herself was still out like a light as far as the Majot knew, which was part of the reason he was returning. The other reason was to check up on Beckett himself, who'd apparently received ANOTHER concussion in the line of duty. The first had been at the hands of Sora, a Genii woman, months ago.

At least, this was only HIS second one, John thought irritably. I, meanwhile, have had tons. Oh well. What doesn't kill you... yadda...yadda...yadda.

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When John finally entered into the newly-dimmed room, he saw the good doctor straight away. He was sitting on a bed; noticeably, it was the one situated farthest from Teyla. His chin was resting on his chest, and, at first, John thought he was dead asleep. So, he wheeled himself around, preparing to leave again. He could always bother the good doc a little later.

A Scottish brogue piped up then, stopping him. "Wat do ya want, Major?"

John whirled around, quickly covering up his mild surprise at seeing Dr. Beckett fixing him with an oddly clear, focused gaze.

"Well, hey there, Doc. How ya feeling? And how's Teyla? Has she come around at all yet?" Conversational Shep at his best. Take THAT, Mr. Rogers, John thought to himself.

"TEYLA will be fine, Major, but, no, she hasn't come to just yet. As fa me? I've been a wee bit better myself...By the by, Major, shouldn't I be asking yeh that? I did 'appen to hear what Dr. Weir said about Teyla...AND yeh, ya know."

"What...about...us, Doc?" John asked, trying not to smirk.

"Now, don't yeh be smart with me, Major. 'Cuz I just won't have it. And there ain't no two ways about it!"

"Now listen here, Beckett. I came down here to see how you were. Teyla knocked you for quite a loop, if I remember correctly."

"Aye. And I don't think I'll be bloody forgettin' about that anytime soon, no thanks to you bloody remindin' me."

"Hey. Always here to help." This time, John's hand couldn't hide the renewed smirk present on his face fast enough.

"Oh well...Of course yeh are. Did you just come here to bug me or wat?"

"I always LIKE buggin' ya. It's what I'm best at. Well, that blowing things up...or shooting. I'm good at that too...Oh then there's that little Ancient thing as well...uh..."

Quicker then either the Major or the doctor himself thought possible, Beckett got up and started toward John. "Listen, Major.  
I bloody well have a great big headache, and you...are...not...helping...any."

"At all?" John hazarded.

But, it was too late.

With that final remark ringing in his ears, the irate, mildy concussed Scotsman manually turned the guilty party around to face the door and prodded him with an open palm for good measure in the middle of his back - anything in order to get him moving on his way, some place...ANY place...else.

But, instead of the desired outcome, as in the Major leaving, John screamed out in obvious pain and staggered to the floor, tightly gripping his lower back. The yelling had made Beckett's migraine worse, if that was at all possible. But, now, he wasn't mad. He was worried, extremely worried, about his most frequent patient.

"Wat...Wat 'appened, Major?" he asked, immediately kneeling beside the fallen man.

"Ya k-k-know that lil' thing...that...uh...Lizzie was talking about...e-e-earlier?" John ground out from between gritted teeth. "The thing she said happened between me and Teyla? Well, it did, and she attacked me with an IV pole...And..."

"Shhh, Major. Lemme take a look-see. Can yeh get up for me? Maybe make it to the bed over there? It's not too far."

"Yeah. I think...I can. But, shit, Doc. It fuckin' hurts!"

"I should say so. She had the power of ten men behind her in that swing, because of that blasted Wraith consciousness in her."

"NOOOOWWWW you tell me," the Major groaned, before slowly making it back to his feet. "I wish I'd known that BEFORE I tried to tangle with her, only to get in the way of her homerunn swing..."

John couldn't stand up completely straight though and kept his tear-filled eyes squeezed shut, so Beckett had to help guide him over to the nearest bed and carefully sat him down.

"Lay down and not on yer back either," the doc instructed, once his charge was perched on the bed edge, half-sitting, half-leaning backwards, trying to douse the fire radiating from his sciatic nerves, trying to keep his back from spasming into oblivion.

"I knew that, ya know," he whispered, somehow managing to answer Carson's command verbally first.

"No retorts, please. Right now, just moving is sufficent enough."

"All right. All right. I give. I give."

Once John was on his stomach, he was finally able to relax his grip on his back, and waited for other hands to start to poke and prod at the offending area. Hopefully though, this time, those hands would be A LOT gentler. But, nothing touched him for a full minute.

Then, he heard Carson's half-whispered exclamation, "Holy crrraap."

"What...What is it?"

"I think yeh may have to lay on yer stomach for a long while, Major. 'Cuz that's one helluva bruise!"

"What's it look like?"

"Oooo I dunno. Nebraska. Or maybe California? With a wee bit of Oregen thrown in fer good measure..."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you, Doc?"

"Now, wat ever gave yeh that idea, Major Sheppard? Really. I'll be back in a jiff with a shot to numb the pain away. Okie dokie?"

"A jiff?"

"It's a figure of speech, Major."

"Yeah. Okay. And what about okie dokie?"

"That too."

"Okay. Just wanted to clear that up."

"Right. Well then, off I go."

"Don't keep me waiting now, Doc. 'Cuz you know I'm your captive audience..." were the words that followed the good doctor out of the main infirmary and into the seperate supply area.

The sooner he found that shot, he thought, the better off his day would get. First, Teyla and her multiple personsonalities. Then, his concussion. And now, possible muscle tears and light nerve damage to Sheppard's back. What was the world coming to?

It's end, if Sheppard and Teyla don't get back to fighting form quickly, and along with Ford and McKay and the rest, save all their hides in the coming weeks, Carson thought bitterly, as he delved into the case where the stronger pain meds were kept.

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THE END  
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I know. I know. I ended it on a sorta sour note again, but this IS after they know hive ships are on their way, so I figured "Why not be realistic?" Is that a crime? Wait. Don't answer that. lol ;c ) pleasseeeee review though, 'cuz Chocolate Sheps and Becketts and McKays and Fords go out immedistely to those who do. Thanks again. :c )


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